Permanent repatriation – Is it the toughest move of all?

Made by Third Party Family Therapy

It’s been well documented that moving back home permanently is tougher than you’d expect, but why is this?

Of course, there are elements of it that are really exciting, like that feeling of ‘going home’ and reconnecting with your family and friends from before.
In many ways it also seems like the usual process of preparing for a move; planning the logistics and details of your new home and location and saying your goodbyes. Leaving is hard, no matter how many times you’ve moved! You’ve done this before, and you know what to expect. It’s the same old routine, isn’t it?

Not really. Expatriation is exciting! You’re leaving on an adventure, to explore new cultures, tastes, and sights. Your attitude is one of positive expectation. Moving back home is, well, just that. For some expats moving home feels like going backwards in life. You’re going back to what you know, and as Rianette, who moved back to her home country of South Africa after several years of expatriation explained “it can be hard to go back to living a normal life because home can feel boring.”

There are also the practical and financial realities of repatriation, which mean that some corporate expats are less able to afford the exotic holidays and other financial benefits of expat life. Many companies offer Cost of Living Allowances as well as Mobility Allowances to incentivise and retain expat employees. Whilst the COLA is meant to allow employees to enjoy a similar standard of living to what they’d have at home, the Mobility Allowance and the Location Allowance, also known as a Hardship Adjustment may create the reality of a higher standard of living in the host country than what people can afford back home. Adjusting to fewer meals out and paying the full cost of school fees can make one yearn for one’s expat days!

Interestingly, whilst most companies offer extensive support to outward bound international assignees, in their Global Mobility Trends Survey of 2016, BGRS found that only 18% of companies had a formal repatriation strategy linked to career management, planning and retention. In 2019, Crown World Mobility referenced a similar point in their report Big Global Mobility Trends to Watch. Lisa Johnson stated, “Repatriation is another pivotal moment requiring support,” and referenced the damage done to morale and productivity when employees and their families fail to receive support during repatriation.

So, what are the realities of repatriation?

1. You’re moving.

View it as Reverse Culture Shock. It’s as if you were moving to a new country. Prepare for your repatriation in the same way you would any other international relocation. Expect a cultural adjustment. Make use of your previous experience. Many returning expats report feeling foreign in their own country, and you are, because you’ve changed! You’re not the same person with the same experience and cultural references as when you left. Accepting this helps. Lynda, who returned to South Africa after several years as an expat says, “You are infinitely different, and you can’t just slot back into your old life or even family structure.”

2. You’re creating a network.

Your friends don’t necessarily want to hear about your old life, which can leave you feeling isolated and unsupported. You miss your close-knit expat support structure. Because you feel that you’ve changed and others haven’t, you may feel an inability to relate to old friends. This is okay, and it can be resolved. Be prepared to put plenty of effort into re-connecting with people. Expect to build a new support group as you usually would when you move. You’ll be extending your existing support group.

 

Expat communities are open and receptive to new arrivals. Nobody has family or pre-existing support systems, so it’s relatively easier to fit in. When you return home, friends and family already have their circles and support systems. They don’t need you as much as you need them, and they may not recognise your isolation or disconnection. Communicate openly with friends and family when you go home, so they know you need them. Also, remember that your expat friends are still there and able to support you. Allow them to help as well. Appreciate the joy your children derive from having extended family around and cousins to grow up with, and the benefit you have of being there for elderly parents.

3. Financial adjustments. 

As mentioned previously, the financial realities of moving home are often disadvantageous. This can however be another opportunity to show your children that life can and should be appreciated from many perspectives, financially and otherwise. Also, be as adventurous, enthusiastic and open to exploring what your home country has to offer as you were when moving to a new country. It’s fun to look at home with fresh eyes and discover and embrace things about your own culture and geography.

4.You may be moving home, but to a different city.

Some expats are repatriated to their home country, but not necessarily their home- towns. This means they may have the disadvantages of moving back home, thrown together with the difficulties of moving to a new city. They find they have no pre-existing support system, and that they’re also not in a receptive and welcoming expat environment. It can be helpful in these cases to actively seek out foreign expats in your community as sometimes you’ll find you have more in common with them than you have with your local community. The possible upside, as Melanie found when she returned to the USA after living in Moscow and Dubai was “New York just seemed like a new adventure as I’d never spent any time there, having grown up in Seattle.”

Your attitude and approach to the move is the key. Use the experience you’ve gained through your expat life and put it in the context of moving home. This doesn’t mean that you’ll sail through it. It’s tough, just like any other move, but with preparation and realistic expectations, you’re more likely to have a smooth transition. Repatriation is like any other aspect of expat life. It has its challenges; it presents opportunities and your experience will largely be determined by what you put into it!

Co-written by Nicola Jane Gregory and Jo Green